Scorning The Yearling
by the Oz Meister and Jen Baas
Summary: A bunch of (2) students got together one day during study hall and created this. Basically, children of the 21st Century insult The Yearling. It is a total Old Person book. TOGETHER, WE SHALL SCORN THE BOOK! Collab story with the Oz Meister and Jen Baas (Ozzie and Jenna) and SaraSunshine Time (Sarah).
1. Being Gay With a Deer

**Disclaimer: **

**Neither I, nor Sarah Sunshine Time own _The Yearling._**

**That would suck.**

* * *

In _The Yearling_, by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, Jody's dream signifies the end of his innocent childhood.

How is this important?

This is important because it shows his newfound maturity, Flag dies, and he grows up. I'm not sure if that is a legit answer, but whatever.

Maybe it is because as he grows up, he learns what it means to suffer?

Or because...because...because...um...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzosihkiarjegkafhuijduitwrotiywtrfihujiaadfasd gadfgwrt uwpriouhjtoiywunbskcmbotiywt…

Sorry, fell asleep.

Because he is no longer a child and has experienced true love….

*snort* He was in love with a deer.

A dude deer.

*laughs*

* * *

**Alright, I admit. This started out as a basis for an essay.**

**It took a wrong turn.**

**R&R!**

**Ozzie, Jenna, and Sarah**


	2. Stupid Book, I Answered the Question!

**Disclaimer: We aren't dead. This isn't our book. **

**Picks up from where chapter one left off.**

* * *

No, that would send the Christians into a fit. No animalphillia here, folks! Leave that to _Beauty and the Beast_.

Um… what was the question again?

Oh, really?

All right then, Jody has a stupid fit and runs away from home. He cannot sustain himself alone and runs back home to be taken care of, thus learning his lesson about not running off after you kill your pet.

What? That isn't the answer?

But he does!

Ugh. This book is stupid.

* * *

**Yeah. Short.**

**Sarah should put more effort in.**

**R&R.**


	3. Scorning the Unicorn

**Disclaimer: Why would we scorn our own book?**

**Sorry for the short chapters...**

**Well...not really...**

* * *

Don't kill me demon unicorn! *hides under desk*

Ahem. *crawls out from 'shelter'*

My apologies.

Flag was reincarnated as a demon unicorn.

He hates us for scorning his biography.

Well.

Ya know what I say to him and all of his fellow bookmates?

*barfs to the book*

SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN SCORN!

Oh my God! It's chasing me!

*starts running*

And…*looks over shoulder*...Whoa! Since when have unicorns had laser horns?

*runs faster*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

**Yeah.**

**We have no life.**

**R&R**


	4. Death and Dinner

**Disclaimer: Pretty sure a chic who died in 1953 wouldn't be on FanFiction...**

**Our chapters are so short it's depressing...**

* * *

Sorry hun, as much as we would love that, the book focuses more on what they had for dinner.

See, next to Ma Baxter was the pottatas which Flag hadn't gotten to. They had not a lot to eat but next to the pottatas was the butter. Next to the butter was some moldy bread….

Then Penny got a heart attack and Ma died of food poisoning and Jody got trampled by his deer. The end.

* * *

**Insanity ensues!**

**R&R**


	5. Death and How it Really Happened

**Disclaimer: Do we even need one?**

* * *

LIES! TERRIBLE LIES!

Here's what really happened.

Flag the demon unicorn came back to life, got pissed at Jody and incinerated him.

Then, he ate all of the crops.

*starts singing* He drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap, and he tried to eat the bathtub, but it wouldn't go down his throat!

Right.

So.

Then, Pa Baxter decided it was a good idea to shoot Flag the Demon Unicorn.

*bang!* "Heh heh heh heh heh heh." He thought he was a genius...

Flag falls down 'dead' and Ma sobs 'cause its a unicorn, and you don't see many of them thuuur un-ee-corns in Flo-ree-duh

And Flag the unicorn comes back alive.

Again.

And eats the Baxters.

And they all got eaten, living happily ever after in the stomach of a demon.

Theeeeeeeeee

End.

And stuff.

* * *

**We are sooooooooooooooooo immature...**

**Pfffffffffffft...**

**Yeah.**

**On with the reviews!**


	6. This is What My Essay Was

**Disclaimer: You've read the top bit of all of the other chapters...right...?**

* * *

Jody grows to maturity in _The Yearling_ through his hardships of being an only child and being stuck in a house with his parents.

One who is obese the other who is borderline anorexic.

Of course, his eating habits would be stressed enough if his family didn't live off the land.

Not only is Jody suffering child labor, he is kept on the land under the watchful eyes of his parents.

He is forced to work for little reward while his father is ill and his mother in a bad physical condition.

He is allowed a pet but then his cruel parents force him to kill him.

Jody runs away from home but comes back to his demanding parents.

So Jody is mature.

Right?

* * *

***giggles hysterically***

**Don't fear for our sanity.**

**It's already gone...**

* * *

***bursts into song***

**I'm already gone,**

**And it doesn't matter**

**Where we take this road.**

**I'm already gone...**

* * *

**Sorry.**

**Sometimes, sayings remind me of songs...**

**R&R**


	7. We All Hate Infomercials

**Disclaimer: We don't own _The Yearling._ Or infomercials...**

* * *

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* * *

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* * *

**Who doesn't hate infomercials?**

**Right?**

**R&R**


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